Christmas without...

A FaceBook friend of mine, wrote this...



it is my fifth Christmas without you my son
though there are moments when it is again the first…

the hours of then and now
intertwined

I am in today
finding joy within your brother’s life
and mine is truly lifted

the hour liquefies…
and I am submerged within my sorrow

back where time stands eternally still
and holds the key to half of my essence

it holds me captive for a bit
though it is not something that I fear
for you
are the reason behind its power
and I am your mom

it is my honor
it is my RITE

to long for you
to miss you
all that you are
who you would have continued to be

and to cry
for you…

those who see weakness
simply do not understand

and for this
I am grateful

for those who travel my same journey
they see and also share with me
infinite strength…

you feel within me
the abundance of my strength

my love for you…

time’s powerful grip
will dissolve soon enough
and I will again
live in today

Because I am your mom
I am your brother’s mom

and my love for you both
is stronger
and will live on

longer than time itself…
 
~December 21, 2011~Tammy Brown in loving memory of Larry Brown