Another Year

by Brenda Penepent

Another year has come, And you're, so far away from me now; But in my heart still. Forever, I will hold you close. Each smile, laugh and tear I’ve cried A testament to your presence. I will always love you, No matter what happens. Your death can not separate us. I’m right here, loving you as always. My heart is true and strong. I will never forget your spirit. I am no longer afraid. To live or die is the same for me. You are with me on this journey. I raise your light to the heavens, and smile.

A Letter to and from My Baby...

His 104th Week in Heaven...

.

Good morning Greggy,

I wanted to write and say

104 Weeks now since you've been away,

Mom's been thrown into a whirl

Trying to survive each day

With a heart dead to this world...

 

And yet I live in peace

Knowing where you are...

God meets me in my grief

And despite you've gone afar,

I sense you here beside me

Pure in spirit and sweet ~

It's God's gift to me,

A dear and special treat.

His time-zone is instant

In spirit-world, tis true,

So though you're very distant,

You reach me when I'm blue:

When I feel my heart crushing

Till I can bear no more,

That's when He sends you rushing

To remind me what's in store...

 

"Mom, I'm so happy

Your prayers for me came true~

So now I'm truly laughing

Amazed at what God can do!

Remember all you told me:

When you're sad, keep looking up!

"If on earth your cup is empty,

In Heaven, He'll fill your cup!

Take your eyes off your burden

Give it, instead, to Him;

When death pulls the curtain

Your life starts over with Him!

And with any tears you shed there,

He'll water your gardens Here;

And for any burdens you bear there,

He'll draw you even closer Here!"

Thank You Lord for my child's sweet communion,

Thank You his name is written on Your hands,

Thank You his name is seared onto Your heart,

All the love for him, my own heart commands

Could never for him, true Life impart.

Thank You for suffering Your own Child's death,

That He willingly gave up His own life's breath

That we'll have Life with You, and Love's sweet reunion!

Desi & Joey

Desi & Joey

Desiree Lozeau Whale

April 18  -  Joe and I. Sorry its soooo dark. There wasn't much light outside

Christina Back Whale Both of you are smiling & that's ALWAYS Wonderful to wake up to... :-)

After I lightened it up a little...

Don't they look happy!?

They had gone to the The Marshall Tucker Band!

At the SR Perrott 50th anneversary party!



Who Understands?

The Day My Husband Quit Our Marriage...

Less than 2 years after our youngest son died at the young age of

18 years, 7 months, & 24 days old;

My husband of 23 years has decided he no longer wants to be married to me.

How can I Rest?

"How long will the pain last?"

"How long will the pain last?"
A broken-hearted mourner asked me.

"All the rest of your life."
I had to answer truthfully.
We never quite forget.
No matter how many years pass,
we remember. The loss of a loved one
is like a major operation; part of us is
removed, and we have a scar for the
rest of our lives. This does not mean that
the pain continues at the same intensity.
There is a short while, at first, when we
hardly believe it; it is rather like when we cut
our hand. We see the blood flowing, but the pain has
not set in yet. So when we are bereaved, there is a short
while before the pain hits us. But when it does,
it is massive in its effect. Grief is shattering.
Then the wound begins to heal.
It is like going through a dark tunnel.
Occasionally we glimpse a bit of light up
ahead, then we lose sight of it awhile, and
then see it again, and one day we merge into
the light. We are able to laugh, to care, to live.
The wound is healed so to speak.
The stitches are taken out, and we are whole again.
But not quite. The scar is still
there, and the scar tissue, too.
As the years go by, we manage.
There are things to do, people to care
for, and tasks that call for full attention.
But the pain is still there, not far below the
surface. We see a face that looks familiar,
hear a voice that has echoes, see a photograph
in someone's album, see a landscape that once
we saw together, and it as though
the knife were in the wound again.
But not so painfully, and mixed with joy, too.
Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow;
it brings back happiness with it. As a matter of fact,
we even seek such moments in bittersweet remembrance.
We have our religious memories and our memorial days,
and our visits to the cemetery.
And though these bring back the pain,
they bring back memories of joy as well.
How long will the pains last? All the rest of
your life. But the thing to remember is that not
only the pain will last, but the blessed memories
as well. Tears are the proof of life. The more love,
the more tears. If this were true, then how could we ever
ask that the pain cease altogether?
For then the memory of love would go with it.
The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

A comment...

I am so sorry you are going through so much... The pain of losing our child / children, is the worst... I'm only 43 & it'll be 2 years in April since we lost our youngest son (forever 18 yrs, 7 months, & 24 days old) because of a car accident... That day was the worst day of my life, but since his death, I have felt that pain over & over again, but yet I do sometimes have a good day, when the tears are very minimum... I don't know if it will ever get easier... The grief Feeling we go through when our children die, is like a lightning bolt to a huge Tree, total dispair... But it's during those times we have to think more about being Blessed with all the time we DID GET with our children... Yeah, I can talk about both positives & negatives, but it takes both to make the world turn... So When you're feeling down, look up! Broken </3 Hearts can heal....... well....... that's what I've been told.......

Happy New Year - 2012...

♥ To ALL My FAMILY; FRIENDS; & FELLOW GRIEVING PARENTS ♥

Live with NO regrets, Love with ALL your heart,

and GIVE with all your soul. Happy 2012!

♥ May God Bless each one of you and keep you safe. ♥

ONLY: 1 Year or 12 Months or 52.2 Weeks or 366 Days
8,784 Hours or 527,040 Minutes or 31,622,400 Seconds
Until January 1, 2013



Maurice George Whale Reads A Poem

♥ Maurice G. Whale ♥ 10-25-1930 - 12-25-2011 ♥

♥ On this Most Blessed Christmas Day,

May the Good Lord be with the

Whale Family

during this time of grief...

This prayer that I ask all of you to pray is for:

Greg's Uncle George who died this morning,

surrounded by his close family,

sharing their love, their faith, their honor & respect...

Children:

Matthew & Janeen Whale;

Carole & Galen Marcille;

Diane & Peter Hackett;

Jack & Jennifer Whale;

Robert Whale;

All the Grandchildren & Great Grandchildren;

Brothers; Sister-in-laws;

Nieces; Nephews;

& All his Friends he made along the way... 

♥ You are all in our thoughts & prayers... ♥

God, Your word says, 'You are a very present help in times of trouble...'

The Whale Family needs Your help right now,

for this is a time of trouble for them.

Please let Your Presence become very real to them.

♥ I ask that you would lift the heaviness of their heart,

and that You would bear their burden of sorrow

and begin to exchange it for peace and hope.

Father, shower them with unexpected tokens of Your love,

so they would know how much You really do care.

♥ God, we do not understand suffering,

but we are grateful that You have promised

 to be with us in the midst of it.

Let Your words be a comfort to my friends in this time of tears.

'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me.' In Jesus mighty name.

♥ Amen ♥

"The LORD is close to the broken-hearted

and

saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

Maurice George Whale, Oct. 25, 1930 - Dec. 25, 2011

The world was truly Blessed with Uncle George's:

 81 Years  2 months

OR

29,646 Days

OR Approximately

2,561,414,400 Seconds

here on this Earth...

Christmas without...

A FaceBook friend of mine, wrote this...



it is my fifth Christmas without you my son
though there are moments when it is again the first…

the hours of then and now
intertwined

I am in today
finding joy within your brother’s life
and mine is truly lifted

the hour liquefies…
and I am submerged within my sorrow

back where time stands eternally still
and holds the key to half of my essence

it holds me captive for a bit
though it is not something that I fear
for you
are the reason behind its power
and I am your mom

it is my honor
it is my RITE

to long for you
to miss you
all that you are
who you would have continued to be

and to cry
for you…

those who see weakness
simply do not understand

and for this
I am grateful

for those who travel my same journey
they see and also share with me
infinite strength…

you feel within me
the abundance of my strength

my love for you…

time’s powerful grip
will dissolve soon enough
and I will again
live in today

Because I am your mom
I am your brother’s mom

and my love for you both
is stronger
and will live on

longer than time itself…
 
~December 21, 2011~Tammy Brown in loving memory of Larry Brown

The Worst Loss of All...

imagine

I want you to try to imagine the worst thing in the world that your beloved child died... Let me explain to you the reality…try to imagine, if you can, never seeing your child again, never hearing him / her laugh, never hearing the sound of their voice, never smelling the scent you have come to recognize as your child.. Never hearing them say “I love you”…nothing - just silence, emptiness. Now imagine never seeing your child’s smile, never seeing him / her upset or happy, never watching him / her sleep…missing them so much that you are twisted up inside and the pain stays with you 24/7, you smell their pillow, their clothes, you look at  his / her pictures and can only cry - what happened, why!? You have never felt longing like this in your life! Longing to hear his / her voice, to see his / her face again, and to know deep in your soul you cannot fix it. Now imagine every single thing that used to give you joy and pleasure turns into hurt and despair overnight. Not a gradual thing, but going from pleasure to hurt, from happiness to sadness, from peace to no peace, changing overnight. Everything you loved now hurts like hell…

For example: music, I used to love music, it gave me pleasure, I didn’t realize how much music was a part of my life and how it is everywhere, now I cannot listen to it, it sears me like a red hot knife with the pain of losing my child, it cuts me wide open.. like the old song, the day the music died, that’s me, and believe it or not, almost every song reminds me of the void in my life without my child, I am not unique in that pain - if you lost a child you would know. That is just one little example of how your life is affected by the loss of your child. Just ONE example! You feel the loss with every thought, every emotion, and the loss bleeds into every aspect of your life. even with your other children, you still love your other children just as much as always, but as hard as it is, even they hurt you now, because when you see them you feel the LOSS, the loss of the child that died not being with their siblings. It doesn't’ fit, there is a piece missing, your whole life doesn’t fit anymore. Everything that felt right, now feels wrong. And of course there is always the missing, the horrible gut wrenching, out of your control missing…

As good parents we were always able to fix things or make things better for our children... this we cannot fix, cannot make it better. So on top of everything else you are feeling, you also feel helpless...out of control and hopeless…and this is universal, every parent that truly loves their child will feel this. Are you starting to imagine now how it feels? and you are doing this exercise for 10 minutes, imagine, really imagine, feeling this way 24/7 – Day after day, month after month, and no matter what you are doing or who you are talking to, a tape of your child plays over and over in your mind, your baby, a laughing happy little boy / girl, a cute young teen, a wonderful young man or women and it always plays in your head and you do not want to forget even a single second of your beautiful child’s life… but that is a fear you have, that as time passes you will start to forget… so now, please add FEAR to the list of emotions. This is what it really feels like. a part of you has died, don’t just read the words, FEEL them - died, gone forever… a real, beautiful, living part of you has died… and you are still living, left behind to try to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and not having a clue where to even begin. No wonder a high percentage of marriages break up, parents have breakdowns, turn to alcohol, drugs or a destructive way of life. NO WONDER!!!!!

A part of you does not exist anymore and it is scary as hell... that is why they say the loss of a child is like no other loss... you cannot compare it to another loss, with other losses you grieve and you are of course sad, but when your child dies, a part of you ceases to exist, gone just like that, gone with no warning, just gone.

And the life that you knew, the things you always felt, the things in your life that made sense, that you held on to, that makes up who you are - are Gone!!! That is why when parents who have lost children hear “I want the old you back”, “it’s been a year (a month, 6 months-whatever), and don’t you feel better yet?” “You are doing this to yourself, you’re making it harder on yourself”, “grief can become a selfish thing you know”, we can only shake our heads and feel sadness and hopelessness, because there is no way our lives will ever be like it was when our child was alive.

No wonder bereaved parents isolate themselves; we are just trying to hold on. So were you able to imagine for 10 minutes what it must feel like? Even 2 minutes is too long to imagine the unimaginable, to feel the pain, I would not wish it any anyone, but did you get a sense of how Life changing it is?

Imagine you feel this 24/7, not even getting a moments relief from it! Now go on and put on your favorite CD to listen to, enjoy the music... go home and hug your child, listen to them laugh, watch him / her smile, smell the scent that you know is them and please do not tell me how I should feel or that I am holding onto this, or that my friends/family must be tired of watching me go through this, because if you haven’t lost a beloved child of yours, you haven’t got a clue.

Now when you hear these words “the presence of his/her absence is everywhere,” will you finally understand?

Written by a grieving parent – I am not sure of the author, but saw it, and reposted in the hopes that people who love and support grieving parents might begin to understand what our day to day lives are, and the struggles that go into just surviving. I hope anyone who reads this, who has not experience this type of horrific loss will take a few moments and try to imagine – just try – and I bet you are unable to conceive of what we live with because we are not imagining – we are living with a horror - too painful to even imagine. Peace, Chrissy

Who do you think you are?

When you were born, you entered this world with partial amnesia –
these reminders will make your life happier, easier, and more fulfilling.

 1. You are an eternal soul (a Being of Light), who lives primarily in the spirit world. You chose your current lifetime in physical reality aboard Spaceship Earth – as a student enrolled in “The Human Experience” – to achieve spiritual growth in a universe of duality.

 2. You carefully selected your gender, race, color, nationality, culture, religion, talent, education, occupation, economic and social status, health, and other personal characteristics. All your choices will provide lessons you will learn – and lessons you will teach others.

 3. You picked out your physical body – the “Earth suit” you’re wearing – to function in this space-time dimension. One day it will stop working (it will die), and you will continue to exist.

 4. You mutually chose your primary relationships: parents and grandparents; siblings, marital partners, biological and adopted children, and pets (if any); friends and enemies; and many more. Be aware that every person and every experience is your teacher.

 5. You came here to learn how to love (accept) every person unconditionally. To master this ultimate lesson, treat everyone with loving kindness, including yourself.

 6. To assure abundance: be humble – serve others lovingly – express gratitude often – be understanding, compassionate, and forgiving – acquire serenity, courage, and wisdom – nurture others and yourself – laugh freely – always do your best – and celebrate life joyfully.

 7. Learn to tune into, trust, and act upon your intuition. It offers clarity, insight, and practical guidance for all situations, and it will empower you to make your best decisions.

 8. If you can’t recall your purpose (form of service, passion) in life, pray and it will be revealed. Of course you have free will and can choose any lifestyle you’re able to create.

 9. To increase your awareness, meditate daily and listen to the “still small voice within.” This will broaden your spirituality and deepen your relationship with the Source.

 10. You will receive everything you need for your spiritual growth – but not necessarily what you want. Your soul plan and consciousness determine the experiences, people, and things you will attract. Do not judge others – you don’t know what they came here to learn.

 11. Like the leaves on a huge tree, all people are connected to each other and are part of the Source. Do everything you can to relieve suffering. Inspire healing, harmony, and unity.

 12. When your physical body dies (when you graduate), you will bring with you all the love and kindness you have shared, your memories, and the lessons you have learned.

 13. After your transition, you will have a life review. You will relive every thought, feeling, word, and action of your entire lifetime – and experience how they affected everyone else.

 14. Remember: You are a Being of Light (an immortal spirit). You enrolled in “The Human Experience” to learn kindness, compassion, love, forgiveness, gratitude, peace, wisdom, etc. Eventually your physical body will die, and you will return to heaven. There you will have joyous reunions with all your deceased loved ones, who will be looking forward to your arrival.

 15. Love one another. Serve one another. Honor the Source. Life and love are eternal.

 © 2010 by Bill Guggenheim, coauthor of Hello From Heaven!?

Shoes

An eye witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said, "My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!" -

"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes." was the boy's reply. The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, you will be more comfortable now."

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up in to her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her:

"Are you God's wife?"

It's That Time Of Year

It's that time of year
The holidays are drawing near
Memories flood your brain

Even though things have changed
You are not the same
And nothing is clear
You take one day at a time
The only way you can ease your mind
You wish it will go by fast
Not wanting to make it last
And nothing is fine
The night now settles in
Your heart aches deep within
Memories come and go
But you just don't know
When or where to begin
The night is fading fast
You fell asleep at last
Now the sun shines bright
Still nothing seems to be right
You still relive the past
Someday you will know
When you are ready to grow
It is not easy my friend
The pain won't ever end
Why does time go by so slow?
These are the days my friend
They just repeat again
So as I try to grow
I know you just don't know
When I will ever mend
Now do not judge me too
After what I have been through
My pain, my sorrow and my grief
With no signs of any relief
I pray it never happens to you
Author : Robert Walters Sr.

Welcome To Our Family

(Photo from 2006)

Desi,

I wanted to tell you on this day;
How much you mean to me;
And welcome you with open arms
into our family...

It was so easy for me to see ;
Right from the very start
The special way you loved my son;
The kindness in your heart...

Thank you for the happiness;
you have brought into his life;
I know that he is very proud;
to have you as his wife...

And on the day that you shall wed;
How happy I will be;
For my son will gain a loving wife;
And a daughter will be given to me...

If Only...

 

If I could I would take hold of the sun
I would ask it to shine on you both
If I could, then consider it done
Of this you have my oath

If I could I would speak to the stars
I would ask them to decorate the sky
I would talk to the moon and kindly ask
It to join their romantic plight

If I could I would ask of the snow
To be pure and crisp and white
And the footprints that show
To be yours alone, fresh, clean and bright

If I could I would ask for the rain
To gently fall and settle
To drizzle down the window pane
And rest upon the petals

If I could I would ask the rainbow
To find its end with you
To make you happy and to show
The pot of gold is you

by: Gillian Jones

Memories

Memories are precious treasures

God has willed to you and me

To endure old age and suffering

With the joys (that used to be);

They are never worn or faded

By the trials and tears of time

For they're threads of woven pleasures

In the heart of yours and mine;

And for memories of heartache,

Very tearful and unkind -

He endears us with the mercy

And the Grace, in common prayer,

That forgives us for transgressions

And denies us their despair.

~Michael Dubina

Butterfly

"Just when the caterpillar
thought the world was over,
it became a butterfly"~Proverb

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