How Sad is it...

That a Grieving Mother had to post this on her facebook?  I have met & interacted with Thousands of Grieving parents over the last 15 Months... It is nothing that we are proud of, in fact it makes us Sick! Knowing that some of our own family members... {Parents, Siblings, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Spouses, Children, etc}, Really Don't Care! ●▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬● It's True! Some say, "I Love You" - but do they mean it? When was the last time they called? Us Grieving Mothers seem to always be the one to call & chat, but we don't wanna be a bother, so we won't call again...

Everyone that I know on facebook is (or should be) aware of what has happened in my life. My new reality is something that I wish on no one...not even my worst enemy, although I have no enemies that I am aware of, save one. But, that reality is something I cannot change, as badly as I want to.

I joined facebook originally at my child's urging. I saw it as a way to keep in touch with family and dear friends I never get to see, as a way to reconnect with friends who held an important and special place in my heart at some point in the past, and in a few cases as a way to get to know some who were only aquaintences in years past. And lastly, to make a few new friends of strangers. those special people whom I just happened upon, for one reason or another. Lately those have been the most amazing.

I am not here to "collect friends", or to be a part of someone else's collection. What is the point of friending someone here if you have no intention of interacting with them? In the past I have said that I would never delete "family", regardless of our interaction here. Well, things have changed folks. Life is just too damn short, as I have learned recently, to be ignored by those that I have tried to treasure because of blood. I simply do not have time anymore to wait and watch to see if anyone will ever give a shit.

It has become apparent to me that, since my happy, chipper, normal "good morning y'all" status's have become fewer, that some people with whom I would interact on a daily basis may have either blocked me from their newsfeed, or simply choose to ignore my new reality. I now have a small, precious group here with whom I interact, who acknowledge my pain. Do the rest of you have any idea how important that is to me? Apparently not, and that's ok. There are quite a few "family" here who have never once commented, or responded to anything I may have posted to them in all the years I have been here. There are even a few who have never acknowledged My Child's death. How low is that? I would never do that to anyone I care about.

I'm so sorry that my pain and my unending sorrow makes some of you so uncomfortable. NOT. Newsflash folks: this is my new reality...my new "normal". I didn't ask for it and I cannot change it, as much as I would like to. I am grieving, and I have chosen not to try and hide my grief. Those who give a damn understand, and those who don't can go to hell. If my pain makes anyone uncomfortable here, let me tell you what to do...on the blue bar at the top of the page, it says "Account". Put your curser on that, then "edit friends". Find my name and there is a little black "X" to the right. Click it. I plan on doing the same. Save me the trouble.

I have found a (closed) group, many actually, of Angel Moms here on facebook who have helped me tremendously on this awful, painful road I am on. It is with them that I spend most of my time. They care, even though they don't know me. And they understand. It is a club I never wished to join...no one does. But they are there, day or night, when I need them. I am never ignored there.

So, in short, I will be cleaning up my facebook, again. But it will be quite different than times past. Priorities have changed, and my reality has changed. Anyone who would care to be a part of my "new normal" that may have disappeared over the last couple of months might want to say something. If I haven't heard from you, and I don't with this blog, I can probably safely assume you don't care one way or the other. That's fine, but I hope you realize how hurtful it is, particularly those with whom I used to interact. But this is life folks, and I need to get on with mine.