A Birthday...

I lost my son on 4-26-2010, in an auto accident. He was 18 years, 7 months, & 24 days old. He will always be my baby & his birthday is coming up. He should be turning 20 on September 2nd. The pain of his death and the void in my life has been a battle no parent should endure. The holidays don't mean anything to me anymore, even though I have 2 living sons (almost 21 & almost 22), both of whom live close by. Our oldest son is getting married in October and the realization of knowing I will never have a day like that with my baby is overwhelming. The tears just keep falling and I can't stop myself. The grief can hit you when you are in situations like this and it's so powerful you just want to run. His birthday is a day that will be very difficult for me. I'm afraid I will have problems composing myself in times like this. It's not that I want to suppress my thinking of Greggy; I just wish the tears would stop. Any help out there?? -- Chrissy