Welcome to my Blog...

The things I plan on posting here will be things of interest to me & maybe you too!
If you like a post, please let me know. Enjoy my Blog & God Bless...

September 29, 2009

My Prayer for Today...


Dear God,
Grant me,
The Serenity,
To Accept the things I Cannot Change;
Courage to Change the Things I Can;
And Wisdom to Know the Difference.
Living One Day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting Hardships,
As the Pathway to Peace.
Taking, as He did,
This Sinful World,
As It Is...
Not as I Would Have it.
Trusting, that He Will,
Make All Things Right...
If I Surrender,
to His Will...
So that I...
May Be Reasonably,
Happy In This Life
And Supremely,
Happy with Him,
Forever and Ever
In the Next...
Amen!
So much has happened in the last several months,
That I would really appreciate it,
If you could pray this prayer with me,
Today & everyday! God Bless You & Your Family!

September 28, 2009

The Day of my MRA... Closed MRI with Contrast...

Greg & I left around 12:30 for my long & painful 1:45 Injection appointment at the Hershey Medical Hospital. Greg has always been so kind & loving towards me & today was no different. He dropped me off at the main entrance & then parked the car in the garage & walked the whole way back to me, at the hospital… We walked down the hall past the lion statue, turned right & went down another hall to another set of Elevators; we took an elevator down to the ground level, got out and asked the lady at the desk, where to go. She told us to walk down another hall to an exit sign, turn left & go down yet another hall – to yet another desk, where they told us to wait in the waiting room. (For a little over an hour) Greg got up & grabbed me a cup of water so I could take my bedtime pills, which we thought would be good, considering I’m so claustrophobic.

After two episodes of “Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?” which was playing in the waiting-room, I was called to get my injections. As we walked down yet another hall, the lady asked me if I had any metal in or on my body… I told her I was dressed for the event & all I had to take off were my glasses & my head band. The nurse asked me all sorts of questions and then introduced me to the 2 doctors who would be putting the contrast material into my shoulder via injections. They asked me to take off my shirt partway, so they could get to my Left Shoulder, which the nurse helped me to do. Then they had me lay down on a cold table (or should I say a cold slab of metal?). They took a couple of x-ray shots and marked on my shoulder where they were going to inject the dye. They then proceeded to prepare my shoulder & then started the procedure, (even though my mouth was so dry, my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth!).

After about half way through with the injections (2 of 4), I asked ever so nicely: “Can I ask why you’re doing this all to my left shoulder? It’s supposed to be my right shoulder!” Oh you could have heard a pin drop! The Two Doctors & the nurse all got real quiet & then one doctor spoke up and said: “Uh, umm, what did you say?” - - - (I actually thought about waiting until they were completely done, but I decided to ask half way, which was great!) - - - I giggled quietly (mostly because my mouth was so dry!) & said: “No, you’re right it’s my Left Shoulder!” Oh at that point everyone was laughing and they kept saying: “That was a good one!” & “You got us good on that one!” Afterwards, when the injections were done, the one doctor actually got on the phone & told someone else what I had done! They both had a good laugh over it & so did the rest of us! I’m sure they’ll be telling many other coworkers, just like I’m telling you now…

Greg & I went up the elevator together, but we parted ways when we go to the cafeteria. I went in to grab some ice-cream for me & snacks for Greg, while Greg walked to the parking garage to get the car. When I was done paying for the stuff I got, I walked to the front entrance & sat outside, right next to the valet people… (OMG - The hospital has Valet parking!) Greg was there within moments of me sitting down and we headed to Hope Drive. But because we had to wait to get my injections, I was a little late getting to 30 Hope Drive, for my MRA. At first the lady at the desk couldn’t find my information, but once she found it, I was called right in and the female radiologist took good care of me! We talked on our way back to ‘her’ room about how my day has gone so far & by the time we reached ‘her’ room, she asked what kind of music I liked. I told her anything that would help me fall asleep! (Which she determined was spa music.) She knew I was claustrophobic and told me she had a towel for my eyes, then asked me to lie down on this VERY - VERY – VERY – VERY – VERY NARROW table & that I had to make sure my left shoulder went into this very tiny corner compartment so-to-speak. It was hard to do, but when she helped, it wasn’t as painful. Next, I had to try to stay on the table without falling off! I crossed my legs, but the radiologist asked me to uncross them. She then came over with a nice size ‘ramp’ pillow for under my knees & then strapped my legs down to the table, which actually helped me feel more supported, unlike my right arm – which was hanging off the side of the table!! As the radiologist put the towel over my eyes & put a set of ear-phones on my head, which also held the towel in place, another lady came in & took my right arm bent it up over my head & then I slowly drifted back into the MRI Machine!

Although I could not see or feel where I was inside this massive machine, I knew I was inside. How? Well, the radiologist was talking to me right inside my earphones! As the music played, she would tell me when & how long each photo would take. After the first couple she asked if I was okay. I told her that I was fine, but if she could turn up the music and not to tell me about the photos, because I was just gonna try to sleep… Which I did… Because next thing I knew, she was telling me, “Christina, this is the last batch of photos, it’ll take about 6 minutes and then you’re done!” Oh I was so grateful for that information, because by the time it was done, my right arm (which was above my head) was sore & my mouth was so dry, my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth! My body drifted out of the massive machine and the radiologist was there to help me slowly get up and on my feet. She had my glasses & metal head-band and informed me that my surgeon would get the results & images in the next few days. As she walked me back to the waiting room, the receptionist told me that my husband had gone outside; because his phone kept saying: “An Idiot is calling!” I told her that was my husband’s ringtone for our middle son! We both laughed… (Just to let you know our middle son is in no-way an idiot, in fact none of our sons are, but we all get a kick out of the silly ring-tones!) Like usual, Greg had gone to get the car.

Greg & I then went to our Favorite Pizza Shop: Tonino’s Pizza (on Jonestown Road in Colonial Park) & bought some pizza for just us, because as far as we knew, both of the boys went to work. Then we went to GIANT® Food Stores (also on Jonestown Road in Colonial Park) & he bought himself some chocolate milk & me some juice. When we got home, David came out & asked how everything went & told us that when he’s got a cold, he can’t work at the Olive Garden©. Then when we went inside we found Greggy lying down in the kitchen, in front of the Wood stove, with his head inside! My Mom went on to explain that she kept hearing knocking noises and that Greggy found a small squirrel in the metal pipe, going up the chimney; which Greggy was trying to catch! I said “Wow! I wonder if it’s related to that big squirrel you saw in the kitchen, in November?” with that she got up & went into her office. I then told her that I was tired & was going up to take a nap. (No response) Greg & I headed upstairs to our bedroom and enjoyed our pizza, while we both played online games on our computers. (I played Mahjong Garden on Pogo© trying to get another badge & Greg played Star Wars Galaxies™ Trading Card Game®) After I was done eating & playing 50 games of Mahjong Gardens, I took a 2 hour nap to let my extra bedtime pills go through my system. When I got up from my nap, I felt refreshed but still really sore. Oh I really hope & pray my new Orthopedic surgeon can fix me all up!

I'll keep you posted with updates later! God Bless!

September 25, 2009

You want me to do What?


After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said: "Let me see if I've got this right."

"You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages and instill in them a love for learning."

"You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride."

"You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job."

"You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior and make sure that they all pass the final exams."

"You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card."

"You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps."

"You want me to do all this and then you tell me... & I CAN'T PRAY?"

September 23, 2009

The Day After Pot Roast - Beef Stroganoff

Another So Easy Recipe!
by: Christina Whale & Tested by her Husband & 3 Sons (& Many Many Others)


---Using Left-Over Pot-Roast & Gravy (even if you have very little meat!)

---Cook enough Wide Egg Noodles for family...
.......(Follow directions on bag on how to cook)

---After Egg Noodles are done, Drain...


---Put leftover Pot-Roast & Gravy into same Pot & Heat thoroughly.

---After Heated ------- Enjoy!!

Unbelievably Scrumptious Crock-Pot Roast

It's SO EASY!
by: Christina Whale & Tested by her Husband & Sons... (& Many Many Others!)

1 Beef Roast, large enough to fit in your crock pot
2 pkgs Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Mix
5 pkgs Brown Gravy Mix (No name brand is fine)
2 pkgs Good Seasons Italian Dressing Mix
4-5 cups water

In Crock-pot:

1. Whisk Gravy & Dressing Mixes with Water - then place Roast in crock pot.
2. Puncture the entire roast several times with a fork or knife
3. Cover with the lid & cook on low for 10 to 12 hours.
4. Occasionally, stir the ‘gravy’ & flip the meat.

-->The roast is done when the meat just falls apart!
Remove the roast, ‘slice’ & place on platter and pour the gravy into gravy boat.
Serve with potatoes & a vegetable!


Notes:

You can start this before going to work...
-------Just flip roast and stir gravy when you get home!

If you have leftover Gravy & Meat...
------Put cut up meat & gravy into a container in the refrigerator.
------See recipe for: The Day After Pot Roast - Beef Stroganoff


FYI: You can double, triple, quadriple, & so on...
I made this with 4 (Four) HUGE Roasts & ended up using 12 cups of water, 5 dressing mixes each, & 12 Gravy mixes... I put them all in frozen the night before, on low. When I woke up the next morning, I stirred the gravy, flipped the roasts, & started getting the kitchen ready for all my guests... I watched my Soap (The Y&R) & took a nap... When I woke up yet again, I stirred the gravy, flipped the roasts, & started the Potato's & Veggies... Oh by the time they were done, the Roast was fall apart Delicious!!! Everyone at my dinner party Raved & Raved, especially when they heard they were all going to have some left-overs to make my Day After Pot Roast - Beef Stroganoff! And it was All-So-Easy!! The hardest thing I had to do that day, was to set the table for 17 people!! - - - - This meal is not only easy it is Unbelievably Scrumptious!

WARNING:
The smell of the roast cooking.......

-----may cause the Entire Family to stay home for dinner!

September 21, 2009

Just a Few Blond Jokes


BASIC GEOGRAPHY

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ???'

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the Mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, 'What's the story?' He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor.' She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replies in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side? ' - - - The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.. 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.' --- The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left shoulder and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams even more. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?' 'Well, no' she says, 'I'm actually a blonde.' -- 'I thought so,' the doctor says, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! --- Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!' --- 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.. it was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' -- She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' --- 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs!'

August 24, 2009

Be Still... For He is Here...


Father, Thank You for each and every day You have blessed us with here on earth. Thank You for Your tender mercies. Thank You for giving us friends and family to share these Internet joys with. I ask You to Bless my friends, relatives, and those I care deeply for who are reading this right now. Where there is joy, give them continued joy, Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence. Where there is need, fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings... In Jesus' name Amen.

August 10, 2009

The Safest Place on Earth

1. Avoid riding in Automobiles...


Because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.



2. Do not stay Home...


Because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.



3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks...


because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.



4... Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water...


because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation..



5. Of the remaining 33%,


32% of all deaths occur in Hospitals.


So, above all else, avoid hospitals.



But,



You will be pleased to learn that only .001%

of all deaths occur in worship services in church,


and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.

Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at church!
And Just for your Information...
Bible study is safe too.

The percentage of deaths,
during Bible study is even less.

So, Attend church & read your Bible

IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!



GOD BLESS YOU!

July 12, 2009

Until we meet again...


All you are asked to do is keep this circulating... Even if it's to one more person. In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.

In Memory of:
Davina "Betty" E. Demko

July 1, 2009

Dancing With God



When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing 'dance' at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw 'G': I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'i'.
'God, 'u' and 'i' dance.'
God, you, and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God, as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.
If God has done anything for you in your life,
please share this message with someone else.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another.
And I Hope You Dance!

June 15, 2009

I was invited to my 1st Tastefully Simple Party!

At my Sister Judi's house...

It was Yummy! Pam Rae, the Tastefully Simple Sr. Team Manager was the Best! Their Beer Bread is Awesome! I won a pack of the Beer Bread mix! I ordered a few things, but fell in love with a lot of them!

You can check out their website & even watch some great cooking videos & there's some Simply Awesome Recipes there too!!! Their website: www.tastefullysimple.com/web/prae

     Check it out & be sure to tell Pam I Sent ya!

Who They Are

Tastefully Simple is a dynamic direct sales company based in Alexandria, Minnesota.
What They Do
Theye offer a wide selection of convenient, easy-to-prepare foods designed to help people spend less time in the kitchen and more time enjoying the rest of their lives. Their products are sold by independent Tastefully Simple consultants primarily at home taste-testing parties nationwide.
What They Believe
Tastefully Simple is proud to be a member of the Direct Selling Association - the organization that maintains standards of practice for direct sales companies across the nation. They're also honored to belong to the Better Business Bureau, which promotes the highest standards for business ethics and customer service in the marketplace.






May 3, 2009

God's Cake!

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away...
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.

"Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! "

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

April 13, 2009

US President Barack Obama UK visit...

US President Barack Obama’s first official visit to the UK has been planned in meticulous detail.
Barack Obama will have a team of medical staff and his own private chefs
during his visit to the UK for the G20 Summit - Photo: EPA
By Caroline Gammell
9:00AM BST 31 Mar 2009

White House officials visited Europe on least three occasions in the run up to the G20 summit to make sure everything runs like clockwork on Tuesday.
An estimated 500 people will make up Mr Obama’s entourage, including 200 secret service agents, as well as policy makers and support staff.
Only too aware of the assassination threat, the secret service team will sweep venues where he is staying for bugs, test food for poison and set up security equipment.
Permanently by his side will be Reggie Love, his personal aide, who exercises with the president and keeps a permanent supply of his favourite food and drinks to hand.
While on his five day trip, Mr Obama will have a team of chefs on hand to cook anything he desires, at any time.
A team of six fully trained medical staff will be permanently on call in case Mr Obama falls ill, or is injured. They carry supplies of his blood type AB.
He will fly to Britain on Tuesday on Air Force One, a modified Boeing 747. F16s often flank the large aircraft for added protection.
Capable of refuelling mid-air, Air Force One is built on three levels and has a gym, large office, conference room and medical suite. It can seat 75 people and has armoured glass in all its windows.
Cargo planes, such as C-17s, will carry all the transportation Mr Obama needs while in Europe. An estimated 35 vehicles, including cars and helicopters, will be brought to the UK for the presidential visit.
Mr Obama’s armour-plated limousine, nick-named The Beast, is strong enough to withstand a chemical attack.
Made of reinforced steel, aluminium and titanium, it has a raised roof and a completely sealed interior which acts as a “panic room”.
Its bullet-proof windows protect the driver who will have top-of-the-range GPS sat-nav at his disposal.
The tyres are designed to be driven upon even if they are punctured by bullets
Marine One, a VH-3D helicopter, will transfer Mr Obama from Air Force One after it lands at Stansted airport to the centre of London, to the US Ambassador’s residence near Regent’s Park.
It never flies alone for security reasons and is used alongside a number of decoy helicopters, designed to confuse potential terrorists.
The USS Theodore Roosevelt, which will be within a day’s sail of Britain during the G20 summit, comes equipped with an air wing of 90 aircraft including FA18 Super Hornet multi-role fighters and Sea Hawk helicopters capable of in-flight refueling.
The 90,000 ton super-carrier has completed a seven month tour supporting ground troops in Afghanistan where its aircraft flew 3,100 sorties dropping 60,000lbs of ordnance.
Mr Obama’s wife Michelle will have her own bodyguards, a secretary and press officer in her eight-string team.
For their inaugural trip, Mr and Mrs Obama have been granted a half hour private audience with the Queen at Buckingham Palace on Wednesday.
They will then take part in a reception at the palace for all the G20 leaders, which will also be attended by the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall.

February 16, 2009

Key Lime Pie

By: Christina Whale

Filling:
....4 Egg Yolks (Save Whites)
....1 Can Sweetened Condensed Milk
....1/2 C Key Lime Juice

Crust:
....1 Graham Cracker Pie Crust

Topping:
....4 Egg Whites
....4 TBS Sugar
....1/2 tsp Vanilla

Filling: Blend together Eggs Yolks & Sweetened Condensed Milk; then Slowly add Lime Juice. You can add a few drops of Green Food Coloring, to get that Lime Green Color. When completely mixed: pour into Graham Cracker Pie Crust.

Topping: Beat egg Whites until STIFF! When the white are so stiff you can turn the bowl upside down, then & only then add the sugar & Vanilla. —> Put topping on the pie filling, making peaks.

Baking: Bake at 350° until the peaks of topping are golden brown, about 20 minutes, then remove from oven & let cool… When (& Only when) room temp. put in refrigerator to Chill...


ENJOY: After living in Florida for 10 years, I have found the BEST WAY to make a Key Lime Pie! Please let me know what you think!

January 18, 2009

Jesus! Jesus! Just Cry Out - Jesus!

Taken from Joyce Meyer, daily calendar:
A pastor friend of mine was driving through an intersection one day and his little three- or four-year-old son was in the car with him. He did not realize that the car door on the passenger side was not secured tightly, and he made a sharp turn. This happened before seat belt laws were passed, and the child was not wearing one. The car door flew open, and the little boy rolled out of the vehicle right into the middle of four-way traffic! The last thing my friend saw was a set of fast-moving car wheels just about to run over his son. All he knew to do was cry, "Jesus!" As soon as he stopped his car, he jumped out and ran to his son, who was perfectly all right. But the man driving the car that had almost hit the child was hysterical. My friend tried to comfort him. "Don't be upset!" he said. "My son is all right. Just thank God you were able to stop!" "You don't understand!" the man responded, "I never touched my brakes!"

This was a crisis situation. There was no time for anyone to do anything, no time to think, plan or reason. Althrough there was nothing man could do, the Name of Jesus prevailed. Miracle-working power came on the scene, and the boy's life was spared. (See Proverbs 18:10)

January 3, 2009

Benihana Magic Mustard Sauce

3 tb Powdered mustard
2 tb Hot water
1/2 c Soy sauce or tamari sauce
2 t. Sesame seeds, toasted
1 Garlic clove

In a small bowl,
   blend mustard and water into a paste.
Pour paste into blender container;
   add remaining ingredients and process
      about 1 minute or until smooth.

Makes 6 servings, about 2 Tb. each.

January 2, 2009

Benihana's Ginger Salad Dressing

1/2 cup minced onion
1/2 cup peanut oil
1/3 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
2 tablespoons minced celery
2 tablespoons ketchup
4 teaspoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Combine all ingredients in a blender.
Blend on high speed for about 30 seconds
     or until all of the ginger is well−pureed.
Makes 1 3/4 cups.

Yummy!!

December 9, 2008

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. -- A recent E-mail Story...

Just try reading this without laughing out loud!!!
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt pocket-sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. -- AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat, but, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. -- AM I WRONG?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best ...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ... HOLY COW.... WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION..... WHAT THE HECK???

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position , with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

NOTE:
    If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S.
   My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

November 30, 2008

I Miss My Daddy (He Died 11-22-2008)



Dear Family & Friends,

    I come to you this year with a saddened heart. In October, I received a call from my sister Esther, asking me to fly north as soon as possible. Dad was going downhill faster & faster each day. That Friday was no exception! Two of my nieces picked me up from the Allentown, PA airport & when we got to my parents' house, my brother, three sisters, their spouses, my other niece & her boyfriend were already there. My Father was laying in the hospital bed, in the living room. Oh, Lord! He was so frail... So tiny... So weak... He mumbled a lot, but when I leaned over the bed rails to give him a hug, he gave me a kiss & told me he loved me!! I never felt so touched in my life, as far as my Father was concerned... It was a very touching experience. Friday night we all took turns by his bedside & several times we all gathered and said the Lord’s Prayer & sang together as a family... We had all taken turns trying to get him to drink or nibble on some Jell-o or some of his homemade applesauce...


    Late in the evening, Dad's temperature started going up. At 2AM, the only people left at the house were Mom, Dad, & us 5 children & by 2:30 Dad's temperature was up to 103 degrees. Calls were made to Hospice especially when Dad started complaining of pain. They informed us to give him certain emergency meds & to wipe him down slowly & softly. My brother helped first by taking some of his clothing off & then we gathered around & each of us kids took a hand/arm, foot/leg, & forehead & started wiping him down with washcloths. By 4 AM it had come down to 101 degrees & by 7 AM it was completely down to normal... But boy those 5 hours were very "touch and go"! At 8 AM one of my nieces came back with enough Coffees & McMuffin Sandwiches for everyone, including the rest of the nieces that had gone home to sleep. The next several days seemed to be much of the same, without the major high temperature, thank God... It was still very "touch & go"... When Dad was tired enough to sleep, there were always two people with him, just in case he woke up or tried to get out of bed.

    Saturday, we took Dad outside in the wheelchair and I had the pleasure of tossing leaves all over him! Dad watched my brother & his girlfriend rake the leaves. We took him over to see his Roosters & while he was sitting there, he seemed like he wanted to stand up, so my brother helped him up and Dad took a few steps with my brother's assistance, while my oldest sister videotaped it! Dad seemed to enjoy his little walk, in his bare feet, even though he never ever went outside without his boots! When we took him back in, he insisted that I take his “Boots” off! At first, I tried to tell him he didn’t have them on & that he had gone out without his boots on... But he insisted and so I went through the motions of taking his boots off. and when I was done, He even thanked me! I have a photo of my Dad right after we had gotten a big Load of wood, that he chopped, to keep us all warm...


    The following week, he seemed to be getting better. He was alert & watching TV. He would ask that we put on the news or one of his favorite Cowboy movies. In the evenings while he was dozing, my Mom, my sisters, & I, would watch a Hallmark movie & stay by his side. We would crush his meds and put them in a small bowl of homemade applesauce, before trying to give it to him. So many nights, the Ladies Ministry “Helping Hands” at my Mother's church were so wonderful; they brought over enough food to feed everyone & enough to have leftovers too! We tried to feed Dad every evening, sometimes he would eat & sometimes not. He seemed to really enjoy his homemade applesauce & Watermelon. He also enjoyed his Coffee, Pepsi, Root beer, Peach Juice, & Sweet Tea.

    I have a photo of my Mom & Dad sleeping together on November 16th, the night before my birthday!

   On the 17th, my Mom sent one of my sisters out to pick up a Birthday cake for me. As they, including my Dad, all sang "Happy Birthday" to me; I took a video of it! My Dad sang & later said Happy Birthday to me! It was a very special night for me, to be spending my 40th birthday with BOTH of my parents, siblings, & nieces. Below you will see a VERY - VERY Precious photo of my Dad & me. He asked for a small piece of cake & made sure his piece was white & not chocolate.


   This is the Very Last photo taken of my Dad before he died... It is one of my Favorite Photos... I know that he doesn't look his best in this photo, but I KNEW HE LOVED ME, in this photo & that's what matters to me!

A few days later my brother put up plastic around the entire huge back porch! I helped when I could, by holding the plastic up; holding the ladder; & handing him things he needed. When we finished the entire porch, we were both sweating up a storm, even though it was in the 30s outside! He went & got Dad’s thermometer & hung it up, shortly after - the temp was 82 on the porch! I then took a video for Dad. I started from the driveway & walked up to the porch & then walked over to the roosters & then back over to the porch and inside. My brother had a few words of encouragement for Dad & after I transferred the video to my laptop, I played the video for Dad – Twice! He loved it! He even laughed when he saw my brother having to encourage one of the roosters to get down off the fence & into his pen. The next few days Dad’s breathing was very labored. He would take a deep breath and then not breathe for anywhere from 8 to 28 seconds. Then on the 21st, his breathing got very shallow, breathing constantly but very shallow. My oldest sister had spent the night that night but had to go home to get a few things done.

   The morning of Saturday the 22nd, Mom & I sat with Dad and noticed that his fingernails were darker. Mom got up to get some of Dad’s laundry done & I got up & cleaned the living room. When I was done, I noticed that Dad’s lips were really dry. I asked Dad if he wanted me to get a ‘lollipop’ for him & he said yes, by squeezing my hand. I got it & made sure that his lips & tongue were moist. He looked up at me & smiled and then he was gone… I could hardly believe it! I was alone with him & he was gone! I headed to tell Mom & met up with her as she came into the Living room with a change of clothes for Dad. I told her that Dad didn’t need them & that he was gone. It was around noon on Saturday. We checked his blood pressure & it came up all zeros. Oh, the look on Mom’s face! As she cried at Dad’s bedside, I called my siblings and informed them of what had happened. They all showed up & we all took turns sitting with Dad one more time. Hospice came and confirmed that he had died. Then the funeral home men came and took Dad to the funeral home. It was so hard to see him being rolled away. Then some of us went with Mom to the flower shop & ordered flowers for the funeral. Then we went to the Funeral Home and made the final arrangements. It was hard, but it was even worse for my Mom.

    The obituary (see below) was in the newspaper on Monday the 24th & then the viewing & funeral were held on the 25th. First, there was the viewing & it was so hard to say goodbye to Dad for the last time. But Dad looked really good! He wore the suit that Mom & he had bought for his sister’s funeral. My Mom was the last to see him, She gave him a special piece of wood that she had sent to him a LONG LONG time ago when they were just dating... It said: "Johnny, I LOVE YOU, Ruth" It was REALLY SAD to see my Parents together one last time… My oldest sister made a memorial video, that was played at the funeral & then posted on YouTube.


   At the cemetery, the funeral home had made sure to have enough seats for Mom & us, 5 kids. The seats were covered with fake fur & then they put a nice warm blanket on all of us. Then there was the 21 gun salute, which I jumped at the first shot, and flinched for everyone after that… It was beautiful, but yet Very Sad. After the cemetery, we went back to Mom's church where we had a luncheon with Dad’s favorite meal – Fried Chicken! So many people showed up for the viewing & funeral & it was very touching that so many people thought of us. One of my parents' neighbors even showed up with a squirrel on her sweatshirt, In Honor of Dad!
    Thursday was Thanksgiving & we all went to one of my niece's houses for dinner. With Turkey, Stuffing, Cranberry sauce, Baked Corn, & all of the other goodies it was really nice to be with family. But you could tell we all missed Dad. We even left an empty seat for him, “Just-In-Case.” After dinner & a wonderful dessert of Pumpkin Roll, I helped her decorate her Christmas tree & we all watched an old Christmas movie. Then Mom & I took my other sister home & then visited Dad at the Cemetery, fixed his flowers, & took a few for home.

    I only had 2 more days to spend with my Mom before having to head back home to Florida. My Mom & I visited Dad at the Cemetery again, before doing a little shopping. Friday night I spent making 10 batches of my Mom’s favorite kind of hot drink: ChaiTea! Saturday my sister & I helped Mom set up her Christmas tree. And we both sat with Mom & looked through all sorts of photos that were taken throughout the years, most of which we had never seen before! Esther drove me to the airport and I flew home. My brother & sisters spend time with Mom, but I know she misses Dad a lot!

   I'm just glad that she has her dog, Betsy! Betsy keeps her company all day long, every day! But I Miss & Love my Mom so much! I wish I could move back up there, but I can't leave my children behind! Two of them have already moved out and I just can't leave them. So please say a prayer for my Mother that she finds enough peace and harmony to continue her life without Dad.
    When I can afford to fly back up there I will, but can only spend a few weeks at a time up there, because I see my Pain Management Doctor every month... Below is the Obituary that was in the Harrisburg newspaper along with a link to the Guest Book. I’ve paid for the guest book to stay online for another year, in hopes that many more people sign it & share with my Mom their prayers & good thoughts. It would mean so much to our entire family if you could click on the link & sign the Guest Book. Thank You So much for your Thoughts & Prayers, Christina



Johnny J.B. Back <-- Link to his obituary.
   With the air growing brisk and the autumn breeze getting ready for winter to come, I returned home to God on Saturday, November 22, 2008. I was born on December 6, 1932, in Sharon, Pa, which means my time here on earth was just a mere 75 years. But, during my short stay, God gave me a loving and faithful wife Ruth (Rickabaugh) whom I shared 52 years of marriage. We raised five (5) children; 1 son, Samuel Back of Highspire, 4 daughters Judith McClain-Yingling (and husband, Michael) of Hummelstown, Esther Back, and Susanna Back, both of Harrisburg and Christina Whale (and husband Gregory) of Florida. I also was blessed with two nieces who live in Florida. They in turn blessed us with eight wonderful grandchildren, Michael and Joshua Back, Heather, Spring, and Sarah McClain, Joseph, David, and Greg Whale, and one great-grandson, little Joshua Back, Jr.

   Over the years, I lost a lot of family members, like my mom and dad Hilda and John Back, and my 3 sisters, Hilda, Betty, and Margaret. But, even though they are gone, I was left with a thousand memories to hold onto over the years, just like I hope you will have, with the time we spent together. So, dear family and friends in Harrisburg and Sharon; do not grieve for me, but celebrate that time which we shared. And, please know how much it meant to me when we sat and talked over a cup of coffee. I loved fishing with my son and family on the Susquehanna River and Swatara Creek and remember making baked goods till they were coming out our ears.



And, it gave me pure pleasure to mow the grass on my John Deere and then sit back on our park bench with my wife and take in all that God has given us. As you grow older, you look forward to what the future holds, but look back on the past and hold it close to your heart. I remember the mistakes I've made that I can't change and the cherished moments that I spent with my wife, my children and grandchildren, my friends and my animal companions, Honey my dog, my roosters, and my squirrel "little bit" who sat on my shoulder and ate peanuts out of my pocket. -- I went to school in Sharon, PA and in 1952 I joined the US Army.


   I also proudly served in the Korean War to help fight for the good 'ole USA. In return for my service, they awarded me the Bronze Service Star, the Korean Service Medal, US President Unit Citation, ROK Korean Service Medal, the National Defense Service Medal, the United Nations Service Medal & the Combat Infantryman Badge... After the military, I finally settled on a job with Sears Roebuck & Company and retired from there as a Deluxe Specialist.
   My family is going to have my viewing at 10 a.m., on Tuesday, November 25, 2008, at First Assembly of God church at 4100 North Progress Avenue, Harrisburg, PA., followed by a service at 11 am. Burial will follow at the Woodlawn Memorial Gardens, 4855 Londonderry Road, Harrisburg, PA 17109. Jesse H. Geigle Funeral home at 2100 Linglestown Road, Harrisburg will be handling the arrangements.
   In lieu of flowers, I would be honored if you would make Memorial Contributions to either First Assembly of God - Women’s Ministry "Helping Hands" at 4100 North Progress Avenue, Harrisburg or Hospice of Central Pa, 98 South Enola Drive, Enola, PA 17025. Geigle
Published in the Patriot-News on 11/24/2008

Obituary for Johnny J.B. Back:

Guest Book address for Johnny J.B. Back is:

November 20, 2008

1976 - Elizabeth Silance Ballard - Home Life Magazine Story


ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I'VE EVER HEARD! (Fictional Of Course)
http://www.teachermovie.com  <-- Click here to see the Movie!


As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stallard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
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Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.'
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His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'
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His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'
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Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'
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By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's.

His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag.
Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. She stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stallard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." - After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets.'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honours. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favourite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favourite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stallard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring.

Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stallard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."