Message From Heaven...

Just Because...

Just because I talk about my youngest son Greggy that passed away, it does not mean I don't focus on my children that are alive.  --->Let me put it this way, A mother's love has no limits and no boundries, as a mother we love all our children equally and we would give our life for any of our children. Even if if a mother has 20 children she loves them all the same, just because my youngest son died, it does not mean I am going to act like he didn't exist. I will mention him, celebrate his birthdays, and holidays in memory of him. For people telling me to focus on my other sons, that are alive and not the one that died,

let me ask you this...

"which one of your children...

would you stop loving and talking about?"

So you see, I can't either.

Today I saw you crying...

Today I saw you crying 

I sent you lots of love 

I hope that you can feel it 

I'm here just up above 

Today I jumped from cloud to cloud 

And flew across the sky 

And God told me all about you 

And why you often cry 

He told me that you were special 

And your love for me is so deep 

He told me that one day I'll meet you here 

And in your arms I'll leap 

I met a nice man the other day 

He sat me on his knee 

He told me that he knew you, Mom 

And do you know what else he told me? 

He told me all about you 

About your pretty face 

About your kindness, love and joy 

About your sweet grace 

I told that man I knew you 

Cause we were once so close 

I grew in your belly, Mommy 

Just beneath your clothes 

I told that man you talked to me 

And prayed for me each night 

And how I felt your love right there 

And how you would hug me tight 

No, you're not a stranger, Mom 

Although we're now apart 

It's really not that far, Mommy 

I know I'm in your heart 

I can't wait to see you, Mommy 

God says you'll be here soon 

Until then, I'm with you 

And I love you to the moon...

By: Julie Miller

Facebook Emoticons...

This is so cool... enjoy them!

Heaven

I'm gone...

Author: Unknown

If you should wake tomorrow
and find that I'm not here
remember how much I love you
and please don't shed your tears.

For my life on earth is over
My days have been fulfilled
I did what God intended
My rows have all been tilled.

Just think of me with smiles
Hold my memory in your heart
For if you don't forget me
We'll never be apart.

For all the loves I held so dear
I'll be there by your side
watching, standing over you
I'll always be your guide.

And if one day you feel a sense
a whisper in your ear
Don't be alarmed, it's only me
to let you know I'm near.

And if we never got to hug
or say the word goodbye
Please, don't have a broken heart
and sit around and cry.

Remember that I loved the Lord
and made my peace within
I prayed for his forgiveness
He washed away my sins.

So if I die tomorrow
and the sun for you won't shine
Just look up towards the heavens
I'm with the Great Divine

Happy Heavenly Birthday Greggy...

22 Years ago today at 1:51 PM you came into my world! I can still remember the first time I 

held you. My perfect little boy! How happy I was! The hopes and dreams I had for you, I 

could only imagine who you would be when you grew up. For 18 years, 7 months, & 24 days, I 

watched you grow. Did you know how much I loved you? Did you know that when ever you 

were hurt how it tore at my heart? Did you know how Proud I was of you at each 

accomplishment you made thru your life? Did you know that no matter what, I was always 

there for you? Did you know how happy I was that last day when you told me you loved me 

and had to work on your studies? What happened that night that made you go off the road 

and hit that tree? Today as I remember that night 22 years ago I still remember going into 

Labor & giving birth to you on Labor Day. You've been gone now for 3 years, 4 months, & 6 

days and instead of telling you happy birthday, celebrating this day with you I can only hope 

and pray that you know and hear me when I tell you thank you Greggy for the 18 years, 7 

months, & 24 days you gave me! Thank you for coming into my life and letting me be a part of 

your life! So today on your birthday I remember your life and I wonder who you'd be today! 

I Love you Gregg and miss you so much. I so wish you could be here today, but today I thank 

God that he let me have you for for the time I was blessed with, then never to have had you! 

My gift to you on your birthday is my Love and prayers sent to you and my gratitude that 

you were in my life! I Love You My Sweetie Pie...

Happy Heavenly Birthday Greggy Jr.

Missing you...

40 Months Without You...

I Miss You...

Quote...

Patience is the key to that miracle you’ve been praying for. Far too often we pray to God for something, we ask in good faith for it, knowing God is fully capable of answering our prayer and in the last moments we become impatience and doubt God’s ability to bless, thus losing our faith and in many cases canceling the prayer we made in the first place. Have patience and faith merged together in your daily walk and watch mountains move while standing on water!

- Christopher Martin

RainDrops

Promises are True...

Scriptures affirms that our God sits high and looks low; nothing escapes his notice. From his holy temple he hears our voice; our cries come into his ears. He knows our distress, hears every prayers, sees every tear, and knows every heart. His is the Word, and his promises are true.

Who, What, When, Where, & Why?

Change...

Greg you left me and I've changed...

Not sure if it's for the good or bad...

A Life...

Run Away?

When we give in to fear

we always run away

from something

we should be

confronting.

Dear Lord,

Dear Lord, I pray for my family and friends, that they may increase in wisdom and love; for those facing changes, that they may meet them with hope; for those who are weak, that they may find strength; for those with heavy burdens, that they may carry them lightly; for those who are old and frail, that they may grow in faith.

First & Last...

My Family (Estranged Husband & my sons)

are who I think of in the morning & at bedtime...

I Put a Mask On & Smile...

I struggle everyday with the grief of my youngest son, forever 18...

I struggle everyday with my living sons being 800 miles away...

I struggle everyday with the grief of my 24 year marriage...

I struggle everyday knowing my husband is living with another woman...

I struggle everyday looking for a place to call home...

I struggle everyday with many other things as well...

So What Do I Do?

I Put a Mask On & Smile...

The person that smiles the most is normally the person that is suffering the most...
The person that listens to everyone is normally crying out for someone to listen to them...
The person that is the quite one of the group is too used to being rejected...
The loud person is crying out for someone to notice them...
The most emotional person is the one that had to be the strongest throughout life...
The one that shows no emotion is really dying inside...
Just goes to show don't judge a book by its cover...

I Miss You

I Miss You Greggy So much...

Isn't it Sad...

When you are old...

I should have been more kind.

That is something a person

will never regret.

You will never say to yourself

when you are old,

‘Ah, I wish I was not

good to that person.’

You will never think that.

—Khaled Hosseini

I talk about the core of me...

This is where my son and husband live. So I decided to illustrate... It is just behind my heart and adjacent to my lung... so with every beat of my heart and every breath...they are there. Webster defines core: a. basic, essential, or enduring part b. : the inmost or most intimate part. I don't live in the past with them, I carry them with me to the present and future. I am their memorial. My son at 17 wanted to be a Nurse. He worked full time, went to college full time, bought his own car, lived on his own, & then died in a car accident on his way to work on 4-26-2010. My husband was funny and sweet and calm and handsome and was so full of life when he left me for another woman. I let those generations who have come along during these 24 years know what a unique man he was. He left me on 4-2-2012 - just 24 days before our sons 2 year angelversary. I am Greg Sr.'s wife and Greggy Jr.'s mother. I will always be their wife and mother. I just need to tap on my rib cage to remember this... I like to believe that they would be proud of my journey. Of the way I climb this mountain. I didn't plan this life but I am content and the raw grief is ending for me. Maybe it will end when I realize that someone we love so very much never really leaves us.

A Wonderful Story of Friendship & Values……

A story tells that two friends were walking
through the desert. During some
point of the journey they had an argument, and
one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt,

but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis,

where they decided to take a bath. The one who
had been slapped got stuck in the mire and
started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near

drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and
saved his best friend asked him,

“After I hurt you, you wrote in the
sand and now, you write on a stone,
why?” The other friend replied “When someone
hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds
of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone

does something good for us, we must engrave
it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND
AND T O CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,

a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
Send this phrase to the people you’ll never
forget. It’s a short message to let them
know that you’ll never forget them.
- MORAL -
Do not value the THINGS you have in your life..
But value WHO you have in your life!

Lesson of the day. Wonderful touching story!

A woman baked chapatti (roti) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words:

“The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself… “Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?” One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him!

As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”

The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!”

” As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life!

It was then that she realized the significance of the words: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time. If you like this, share it with others and I bet so many lives would be touched.

More @ Just Because I Appear Happy_Doesn't Mean Everything's Okay.

What I deal with Everyday

My son, Gregory Edward Whale, Jr, was born on September 2, 1991; died 13 times before he was 7 hours old, was on ECMO for 3 days when they came and told me that he had to come off or he'd be a vegetable but he would die peacefully... He lived through it and even had several skull surgeries... and for some reason, a reason that I don't know or understand, was taken from me on Monday, April 26, 2010 in a tragic car accident. 

Gregory is gone, but will always be a part of me. He is gone, but not forgotten. I know that some day, I will see him again. But now, alone without him, I must go on. Life handed him so many challenges from day one, but he met every one of them head on, doing it his way no matter what. He lived more in his short 18 years here on earth, than most people lived in a lifetime. He was home-schooled and graduated at the age of 16 and went on to attend Daytona State College in Florida and then Harrisburg Area Community College where he was studying to be a nurse, so that he could help others. In between going to school and studying he also found time to work at Arby's Restaurant and spend time with friends.

Even though I have had to deal with my youngest sons death, I also have to deal with the loss of my husband, who left me for another woman on 4-9-2012... I have been homeless for 11 months and now living with my sister... I have also been going to therapy 5 days a week since July 2012... Living without my youngest son who is heaven, my husband who is living with another woman, & my other 2 sons (22 + 23) who both live in Florida; has been the hardest thing for me to deal with and I deal with it EVERYDAY!

Sitting in Heaven...

Crossing Over...

I Have Your Picture On A Table

I Have Your Picture On A Table~I Greet You Everyday~I Blow A Kiss To Heaven~Because You Are Far Away~I Whisper That I Love You As My Eyes Fills Up With Tears~It Seems Like Just Yesterday~Although It Has Been 3 Years~I Hold Onto Your Memory That Gets Me Through The Day~I'll Always Have Your Picture And All That I Can Say~Is That I Love You And I Miss You Even Though You're Far Away~I Know You're Watching Over Me From Somewhere Up Above~Blowing Me A Kiss From Heaven And Sending Me Your Love.

(Unknown)

I Tried So Hard

I tried so hard. 
I tried my best.
I gave you my all, 
and now there's nothing left.

You stole my heart,
then tore it in two.
Now I'm falling apart,
and don't know what to do.

Divided by decisions,
burned by the fire.
Confused by your words.
Tempted by desire.

I'm living in the present.
My mind is on the past.
Not knowing what I'll lose.
Not knowing what will last.

Blinded by fear.
Drowning in doubt.
Struggling to be free.
Looking for a way out.

He'll Never Know

I want to run, I want to hide.
From all the pain he caused inside.
I want to scream, I want to cry.
Why can't I tell him Goodbye?

I want to move on, I just can't let go.
I love him more than he will ever know.
I want to start over, I want to feel free!
But this pain will never leave me be.

He hurt me bad, the pain is deep.
From all the promises he couldn't keep.
All the lies, I heard him say.
Are in my head and just won't fade.

How can I forget him, leave the him behind.
Erase the memories from my mind.
He doesn't love me, and he never will.
He will never care, how I feel.

Still Separated & Hating It...

They Say...

Special Angel Mom...

IT TAKES SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO MOTHER AN ANGEL
A MOTHER WHO IS WILLING TO CRY
MORE TEARS THAN MOST PEOPLE COULD EVER IMAGINE
A MOTHER WHO IS ABLE TO LET GO
OF THE MOST PRECIOUS THING SHE EVER HAD
AND HOLD ON AT THE SAME TIME...
TO A CHILD THEY CANNOT TOUCH OR
HOLD OR SEE BUT ONLY LOVE
A MOTHER WHO CAN UNDERSTAND
THAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, LOVE WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS
OR LIMITS, IS THE ONLY WAY TO LOVE AN ANGEL.
A MOTHER WHO KNOWS IN HER HEART,
THE LOVE AN ANGEL GIVES BACK TO HER IS A SPECIAL GIFT,
HIDDEN IN A SUNSET, A BUTTERFLY OR A FLOWER.
A MOTHER WHO FEELS THAT ANGEL'S PRESENCE EVERYDAY
AND KNOWS THE LOVE THEY SHARE IS FOREVER.
BECAUSE IT TAKES SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL
TO MOTHER AN ANGEL....♥

Happy Mother's Day!

When You Love Someone...

Grieving Around Others...

The gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed and what they bear. Our children come to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal. We seek contact with their atoms, their... hairbrush, their toothbrush, their clothing. We reach for what was integrally woven into the fabric of our lives, now torn and shredded. A black hole has been blown through our souls and, indeed, it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return, again and again, for that is where our children now reside. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future, the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain - a life sentence. Our friends will change through this. There is no avoiding it. We grieve for our children, in part, through talking about them and our feelings for having lost them. Some go there with us, others cannot and through their denial and a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. Assuming that we may be feeling "better" six months later is simply "to not get it." The excruciating and isolating reality that bereaved parents feel is hermetically sealed from the nature of any other human experience. Thus it is a trap - those whose compassion and insight we most need are those for whom we abhor the experience that would allow them that sensitivity and capacity. And yet, somehow there are those, each in their own fashion, who have found a way to reach us and stay, to our comfort. They have understood, again each in their own way, that our children remain our children through our memory of them. Their memory is sustained through speaking about them and our feelings about their death. Deny this and you deny their life. Deny their life and you no longer have a place in ours. We recognize that we have moved to an emotional place where it is often very difficult to reach us. Our attempts to be normal are painful and the day to day carries a silent, screaming anguish that companies us, sometimes from moment to moment. Were we to give it its own voice we fear we would become truly unreachable, and so we remain "strong" for a host of reasons even as the strength saps our energy and drains our will. Were we to act out our true feelings we would be impossible to be with. We resent having to act normal, yet we dare not do otherwise. People who understand this dynamic are our gold standard. Working our way through this over the years will change us as does every experience - and extreme experience changes one extremely. We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us. We have read that the gap is so difficult that, often, bereaved parents must attempt to reach out to friends and relatives or risk losing them. This is our attempt. For those untarnished by such events, who wish to know in some way what they, thankfully, do not know, read this. It may provide a window that is helpful for both sides of the gap.

-Author UNKNOWN

Lessons Learned

Staying Quiet...

Where & Why?

Don't Dwell on things in the Past...

Mental Disorder

I've been in therapy for about 10 months now

& it's nice being with people who also have issues.

Letting Go...

Letting go of my husband is so hard... 

I wish I knew how to do this...

Pain Makes People Change...

Dear God,

Dear God, 

I'm not the perfect daughter. I fail you so many times, but You love me regardless. I can't explain how great Your love is for me, because I can hardly even understand it. Lord, may I let myself be used by You and may I draw myself nearer to You.

Sometimes...

Life is an Echo...

Being Single...

Only Trust...

God's will be done...

My Son's THIRD Year in Heaven... (Forever 18)

A FaceBook Remembrance Event

for my son

Greggy's 3rd Angelversary 

APRIL 26th, 2013

(Anywhere you are)

It's so hard to believe he's been gone for

almost 3 years now...

Please say you'll attend!

 Last year there were 510 people who attended

& I'd like to match that or exceed that this year...

All you have to do is select JOIN,

you can even click the star on the top right...

and then select "Turn OFF Notifications"

so you don't get notified of each post...

Thanks in advance...

https://www.facebook.com/events/155983044563998/

Help for those who are grieving...

I've been traveling this journey of grief for 35 1/2 years so please allow me to share with those of you who are new on this journey........

The initial pain is of such magnitude that we become locked in that nightmare moment that seems to have no end. Be kind to yourself and grieve at your own pace and somewhere along the pathway of this journey you will once again see light and embrace all the cherished memories of times shared with your child. I told myself "if not for my child I would never have known the ultimate depths of pain" and almost in the same breath I told myself " My child was worth all this pain just to have had him in my life for 19 years."

I was the Mother who many said would never survive once my Glen was gone but in my darkest hour I came to know my truest strength and remembering my son's words to me.... Mom, you can do anything. 

Now my prayers are for others who follow behind me on this journey we share so close your eyes and say this too shall pass, taking one day at a time. 

May God embrace each of you with his love, fill you with his mighty strength and touch you with his healing power God loves you and I do too!.

written by: Eve Shannon

Dance Trendz Shop

If you or someone you know loves to dance:

Check out this page!

https://www.facebook.com/dancetrendzshop

Grief...

Life...

Problems...

Serious Relationships...

Heaven...

Prayer...

Judging Sin...

Amazing Places...

The Hardest Thing...

Normal People...

Mistakes...

My Angel...

Difficulties...

Suffering

Pay Attention...

A Year Ago Today...

A Year Ago Today...

My Husband of 23 Years 

(Now 24)

Came out of the shower

& Said:

"I need a New Form"

& I Said:

"What do you want on the form?"

& then he said:

"You don't ask me questions,

I'm the Boss - You're the Employee

You're Fired & I Quit our Marriage!"

After All Lyrics...

She knows the voices in her mind
They tell her to leave
She's tired smiling madly
Until silence becomes very silently
A noise in her mind

After all she has nothing inside
No good to give, no meaning to live
The mist engulfed tonight
Every single star

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

She knows the noises in her mind
Nothings left but screaming silence
After all she feels numbness inside
The feeling's gone she's upside down
The pictures behind her closed eyes
This time you went too far

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

After all she's got nothing inside
No good to give, no meaning to live
The mist engulfed tonight
Every single star

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

After all they shared
Could he simply say no
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie

The Grieving Parent

The Grieving Parent

How do you get through that first, second, third, forth, (etc) Easter? It’s an ordeal. The colors seem garish, the sounds, nerve-wracking, and the people, sometimes like clowns.
Some things that can be said about Easter is having some information and understanding, which might help as you approach the holiday.

When we grieve we have no energy. Decisions are hard to make, the smallest chore seems monumental, ordinarily joyous things are not, things that used to bother you don’t bother you any more, you don’t defend yourself well, to pretend takes too much effort, and you need lots of rest.

Nothing matters. The oven goes out, dinner has to be canceled and you have to reconvene in a restaurant. You wonder why something like that would upset the others so much.

Do what you know you should do. Think of a time when it mattered, if necessary – supplements, eating right, rest, talking to someone, keeping your obligations manageable, and getting exercise. Our immune system will be shot. Outsource it.

You can cancel celebrating Easter, if you want to. You can also change the venue.One bereaved family went downtown to a hotel and they celebrated there.

People want to help you and they don’t know how. Nothing will really help. You just want your child back. But let others “do something”. If they ask and you can’t think of anything, ask them to “do something”. They’ll figure it out. Everyone knows houses must be cleaned, dogs walked, groceries bought, and meals prepared.

One bereaved mother told me how much she had wanted to have the gathering at her home as usual the first year after her child’s death, but they would not let her. Another bereaved parent said how much she did not want to have it at her house. How can others know? Tell them.

Say, “If I get up and leave the table, just let me go. I’ll be OK. I’ll come back when I’m ready.”

You might get some relief helping others – serving dinner to the homeless, or buying gifts for a family in need. I created this for the first Easter after my daughter died. I did not want to do the traditional routine family dinner but also did not want to sit alone and wallow in pity. I cooked a traditional dinner and rode to a place where most homeless people try to reside in my community. I did not know what I would be facing, but the dinner I cooked, fed 40 hungry people that day. I know my heart was still so full of sadness, but this was a distraction that was a meaningful event for those less fortunate.

Avoid malls. You see things you would buy for your child or grandchild who is gone; you see the cherubic face of a little boy who looks like the one you lost.

You hear the music. Even a little is too much. Remember you can turn the radio and television off.

Understand that those who slip and tell you, “Well, I hope you have a Happy Easter,” don’t know what they’re saying.

The “firsts” are difficult – the first anniversary, the first birthday, the first Easter, the first fall, summer, spring and winter, but the pain continues throughout the years...

Prescriptions and predictions are annoying. Time does heal many people and it becomes less raw with time; however, if that time does come, it comes at its own pace.

Be forgiving of yourself and others. One way or another that particular day will pass and you will have survived your first, second, third, forth, fifth, sixth, etc Easter without your child.

If You Stumble...

If you stumble, be your own best friend. Don’t beat yourself up, that will erode your self-esteem. Be a kind and supportive friend to yourself instead.

Ask yourself: How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation?

And then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

And remember to ask yourself what you can learn from your stumble and if there is an opportunity in this situation. Then take that new knowledge you gain and move forward once again.